Persian and Paleo in the same sentence?

Okay, I know you really can't have Persian food without the beautiful, fragrant, fluffy, nothing-like-it basmati rice. It makes my mouth water just thinking about the saffron-infused portion that sits on top of the mountain of white rice, and even more importantly, the crispy, buttery tahdig ("Tah-deeg") that is produced through the rice-making process and is a delicacy all on its own.

But you know, if white rice makes you bloated and fatigued and weighed down, is something slightly (okay, very) different that mimics it such a bad thing? I think not. Enter: saffron cauliflower rice.

It's different (and maybe instead of listing its flavor and textural differences, I'll just nod toward its greater digestive ease). Put a mound of it on a plate next to a mint and cucumber salad, a grilled tomato, a slice of raw onion, and some just-right seasoned ground beef, and you'll be joyously satisfied before you even remember you're committing cultural culinary blasphemy.

It comes together really quickly (especially if you're using the highly-recommended shortcut of buying pre-riced cauliflower) and it so satisfying and delicious. The recipes that follow are for 3 meals -- I write according to number of meals because I'm usually cooking only for myself, but you could also interpret "meals" as "people".

[Paleo] Persian "kabobs" with saffron cauliflower rice, cucumber-mint salad, and grilled tomato

For the meat:

2 Tbsp butter or ghee* (for pan frying)
1 pound pastured ground beef
1 egg
1/2 yellow onion
2 cloves garlic, chopped very fine
2 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp sumac (may omit if you don't have or don't want to get)
1 tsp salt
pepper, to taste

*Use ghee or beef tallow if you are going hardcore paleo.

In a food processor, grind the onion until finely minced. Place in a mesh strainer and squeeze contents with your hands so that as much liquid comes out of the onions as possible. I do this over the sink.

In a bowl, combine beef, egg, drained onion, garlic, turmeric, sumac, salt, and pepper. Mix with your clean hands until well combined. If you'd like to check for seasoning before continuing, grab a small piece of your meat mixture and cook it. Adjust seasoning to your preference (I start with 1 teaspoon of salt but everyone's salt preferences are different; after tasting, I usually add another teaspoon if not more).

To cook, simply form into somewhat flat disks, and saute in butter (approx 4-5 minutes per side) until seared and cooked through.

For the cauliflower rice:

1 Tbsp butter*
1 bag frozen cauliflower rice (even chefs "cheat" sometimes, don't be ashamed)
squeeze of lemon, if desired
small pinch saffron threads
salt and pepper

Melt the butter in a saucepan and add the frozen cauliflower rice. Cook for a few minutes until defrosted and hot, and then add saffron. Season with lemon juice, salt, and pepper to taste.

For the cucumber-mint salad:

One English cucumber
8 leaves of mint, chopped or julienned
2 Tbsps balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsps olive oil
salt and pepper

Chop cucumber to your desired size. Add mint, vinegar, oil, and seasonings. Taste and adjust as desired.

For the grilled tomato:

3 roma tomatoes (or more, depending on how much you like tomatoes! This is one of my favorite parts of any Persian meal so sometimes I'll have two.)

(Note: I don't have a grill, so this is my method. If you have a grill, by all means use it! You could even use it for the meat, which will make it taste even closer to the real thing.)

Place the roma tomatos directly on the burner of your electric stove to mark them. Transfer to a 400-degree oven for 10 minutes until they are hot and soft. Alternatively, you could probably cook it directly in the flame of a gas burner.

And there you have an entire meal. Serve, if desired (it's what the real Persians do) with a slice of raw white onion. The SUPER authentic way is to hold a spoon in your dominant hand, a fork in the other, and use the fork to put a little of each element on the spoon to make up a complete bite. Each element is fairly simple and it all comes together in this really wonderfully balanced way. Salamati! (That's "cheers" in Farsi.)